Real Talk with New Moms | Raven

Interview with Raven

Q: When was your baby born? 

A: July 2018

Q: What type of delivery did you have?

A: I had a natural home water birth. He was born in a birthing pool in his bedroom.

Q: Did you have a boy or girl? 

A: Little E is a boy!

Q: What was your most favorite part/aspect of your pregnancy? 

A: Along with having him with me all the time, definitely the kicking! I loved all the gymnastics that went on in there. It made me so happy to know he was strong, active, and healthy.

Q: What was the most challenging aspect of your pregnancy? 

A: I was lucky to have a fairly easy pregnancy. I only had a little morning sickness in the beginning and some back pain throughout. Honestly, the worst part for me was towards the end, acid reflux drove me crazy. Thank goodness for papaya enzyme.

Q: What is something you want all women to know about pregnancy that nobody told you about? 

A: Luckily, I felt pretty prepared. I did a lot of research and had a midwife and two midwife students that were wonderful, always available, and went over everything along the way with me. Each pregnancy is so different though, and it’s hard to think of something that someone HASN’T said. Haha, maybe the best answer is that people will want to tell you EVERYTHING. Believe me, you will hear it all. People will swear what happened or works for them will also apply to you. You just have to hang on to the information that works for you and remember that it is your pregnancy. There are obviously general aspects that are fairly universal, but otherwise, just focus on your own experience. Search out quality information from reputable places when you have questions. Definitely try to surround yourself with support and try not to get too hung up on little things that may not quite fit for you.

Q: Was there anything you needed help with during your pregnancy? If so, what was the one thing (or something someone else did for you) that helped the most? 

A: Fortunately, I didn’t need much help during pregnancy. I worked until the day before I went into labor and I did all the fun nesting things myself. I tried to stay active and was able to do everything as usual. One of the things that actually drove me crazy was people acting like I couldn’t or shouldn’t do things. We all have our own comfort levels and no one else can be the judge of that. Though, I was always wayyy more tired during pregnancy. It’s exhausting. I guess the thing I needed the most help with was making sure I had ample opportunities for sleep. :)

Q: Do you have any funny stories from your pregnancy, or moments you laughed at yourself?

A: My pregnancy was pretty uneventful. Mostly, I got a lot of laughs at work. I’m a pipefitter and there are very few women in my trade, and way fewer pregnant women. It’s fun and interesting to see how people react. The guys I work with are great, and they all pretty much went in to overprotective dad mode, making sure I was always OK and not doing too much. We had a lot of laughs about the whole situation and they were really supportive. My favorite part was before anyone besides close family and friends knew, I had decided just for fun to just see how long it would take coworkers and classmates to notice and say something. The answer was OVER 6 MONTHS. It was so hard not bringing it up and waiting for someone to call me out on it, but I was carrying small and they all said afterwards they just thought I was putting away a lot of burritos or something. Haha!

Q: Did you have any fears going into the delivery process? If so, what are your thoughts about those fears now that you’ve been through that experience.

A: Of course! I was worried about pain, but fully confident that my mind and body could handle it. I would say that yes, those fears were warranted, but so was the knowledge that we can handle it and our bodies are made to give birth. My biggest fear was of something going wrong with my son. I hated thinking about it, but it’s a very real and valid fear. I think for most mothers, the health and safety of their baby is their biggest concern. Many times birth plans don’t go according to what you hope and you have to be prepared for anything. Of course, I’m relieved now about the birth going well, but I’ll never forget the fear of the unknown I had until I was actually holding him safely in my arms. Unfortunately, that fear never really goes away. I think it will always exist even though my son is a toddler now and will hopefully live to be a 100 year old man. When you’re a parent, you never really stop worrying.

Q: What advice would you give other new moms preparing for their very first delivery.

A: My favorite piece of advice has always been to “read your baby, not the books.” I heard this from one of my midwives and it rings so true for me. It’s so easy to fall into a downward spiral of questioning yourself, but the things that feel right or wrong to you, probably are. It also applies to you and your body during labor. Definitely do the research and take in all the knowledge, but don’t get caught up in having to do this and that, or doing things exactly the “right” way. Having all the knowledge and tools available is great, but just be sure to pick out the ones that are the best fit for you and your little ones. A lot of it really does come naturally and you’ll be able to read your body and baby better than anyone. In our culture nowadays, there is a lot of judgment placed on mothers when there should be more support and kindness. So many people get hung up on things that are trivial when we’re all just trying to do our best. Mamas, just love your babies.

Q: Tell us about the highlights/positives of your birth story!

A: The birth was the part that was really quite the story! It was a pretty long labor over three days. There’s lot’s of details in there, but I’ll spare you most of it. The exciting parts include my cat jumping in the birth pool, the bottom cushion layer of the pool deflating (oddly, unrelated to the cat), our dog always comforting me by resting his head on me and being close by, my husband flooding the house (like the whole thing… from upstairs to the basement – he unhooked the hose to use the bathroom and accidentally siphoned the water from the pool – don’t worry, it was still clean), this was moments after my water finally broke, my dog was running around trying to catch all the dripping water in his mouth, the house was covered with towels, we had to shut off the power since the water got into the light fixtures and other electrical things, and my stubborn son was finally born after about 55 hours (including 18 unfair minutes of crowning lol ) into a pool in a candlelit bedroom at 1:11am with his parents, midwives, and fur siblings. What we thought was going to be a small baby ended up being almost 9lbs, and my goodness was he beautiful. Pulling him out of the water and holding him was the best feeling ever.

Q: What was your first meal after delivery?

A: The other half of a protein shake from probably two days prior. I couldn’t stomach much of anything during labor other than a few honey sticks. It was so long and tiring that afterwards, I just finished the leftover shake and crashed.

Q: Are you still amazed your body could do that? I mean… you must feel like superwoman, right? 

A: Yes and no. I’m proud of myself and thrilled about the birth, but you have to be confident in your body’s abilities. I think a lot of the fear comes from society making it into a big scary ordeal instead of giving us confidence and reminding us that it’s natural and our bodies are beautifully designed to do it. I realize this isn’t always the case and precautions should certainly be in place, but what I did was ultimately simple (hard and painful too!…but still simple). There were no tubes, no wires, no medication, no pressure or rush, no interventions, just my body and baby doing what they needed to do. I was fortunate to have my birth go according to plans and am thrilled with the outcome, but if I’m superwoman, then so is every other momma!

Q: Tell us your favorite things about your baby!

A: I love his blue eyes and strawberry blonde hair that is completely unlike me or my husband. He makes the most expressive faces, especially with his eyebrows. He is definitely going to be a handful with his big personality, but I think every baby has a big personality! One of my favorite things is how close he is with our dog. They’re best buds, so now my son let’s us know he’s awake each morning by barking and he and the dog love howling together. Not long ago, I also started getting smooches and “mama” and “I love you” coming out crystal clear. Those moments make me absolutely melt. He loves being adventurous and outdoors and sleeps and eats great. He’s happy and healthy and I’m crazy about him. Like any mom, I’m super biased haha so there isn’t much I don’t love.

Q: What were your “must have” items after brining your newborn home (for you and for the baby)? 

A: My husband would say the owlet baby monitor. He tends to be a worrier, so it was definitely reassuring to have. I loved it too because I could even check it with my phone if I wasn’t home or was in a different room. I would say the My Breast Friend breastfeeding pillow was my savior. It saved my back and made nursing sooo much easier. Oh, and a carrier you like! Babywearing was a great experience for me personally. I never lugged around a carseat or stroller and the benefits were amazing, like bonding and improving their head and neck strength. I still even continue to use it on hikes, quick errands, or around the house when he’s in the mood to be held.

Q: What (or who) has been the biggest help adjusting to life with a newborn? 

A: I’m actually the first out of my friends to have a child, so unfortunately I don’t have a lot of support and understanding there. My family has been very helpful though. My mom took a week off to help me and just seeing her interact with my son taught me so much. My husband’s grandmother also came over once a week to hold the baby while I napped or did things around the house. For the most adjusting and support though, I would have to say my midwives and the mom’s group they host. It’s so important to have a supportive community to bring your questions and feelings to that is relatable. This can also be family and friends, but that just didn’t work for me. I loved having a group of non-judgmental women to talk to that were all going through or have gone through the same things.

Q: This is your chance to answer a question I didn’t ask (but you wished I did)! Tell us anything you want.

A: One of the most challenging things for me was breastfeeding. I didn’t do much research on it because I just assumed it’s pretty straightforward, even though my midwives suggested it. If that’s something you choose to do, it is NOT intuitive. I had a great support system and was able to have a successful nursing experience, but it was stressful, painful, and took a lot of work in the beginning even though my son was born acting like a little hoover vacuum haha. I recommend maybe taking a class, watching some videos, or having a lactation consultant lined up because they are incredible. Also, don’t stress too much because fed is best no matter how it’s done. Again, just love your babies and everything else can be figured out.

Thank you Raven for being so open and honest about your pregnancy and birth experience! <3 I hope you cherish these photos for years to come.

New Mom Interview by Northern Virginia Newborn Film Photographer, Kristen Lynne Photography.